


Are You Drunk!?

by DarthMama



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-10 23:22:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3307076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthMama/pseuds/DarthMama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cassandra has never done things by halves and that includes celebrating the defeat of Corypheus!  Good thing the advisiors are around to tuck her in when she parties a little to hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was done for Picchar ( http://picchar.tumblr.com ) over on tumblr. The prompt was advisors + Cassandra "Are you Drunk".

"Cassandra? Cassandra? Are you drunk?"

Josephine shook the Seeker’s shoulder as hard as she dared. All she received in response though was a familiar sound of disgust and a swatted hand. The diplomat had to struggle to keep a straight face at the comedy of it all. Apparently the celebration over the defeat of Corphyeus had taken it’s toll on the Seeker more than the actual fight and war had.

Still, Josephine was not about to leave her out in the cold to freeze to death. Obviously the Seeker had wanted some quiet but had not gotten further than that.

There was the sound of boots and armor ringing had Josephine sighing in relief. The cavalry had arrived in the form of Cullen and Leliana.

"Oh…well…this is an interesting definition of emergency," Cullen commented as his brows rose a his lips quirked into a crooked and mischievous grin. 

Leliana did not look amused as she moved and picked up the mostly empty bottle that had been sitting next to Cassandra. She held it up and waved a hand over it to air to her nose first and then took a handkerchief to rub along the rim before inspecting it. ”Well…at least we know she was not poisoned.”

"I should hope not, though with a bottle of Mackay’s I’m not sure you would detect it. Oh the Inquisitor might be a little peeved to find out Cassandra drank all of it," Josephine said with a small sigh. She knew the Inquisitor was a whiskey lover…considering she had a glass with him before.

"I would pay good coin to see him try and lecture Cassandra on that," Cullen commented with a chuckle. "However I think he’ll be fine with it given the thief. It’s not like anyone can remember Cassandra cutting loose like this…ever now that I think about it."

"I believe it has been awhile since she relaxed yes," Leliana said with a giggle.

"I am glad that she has gotten to let her hair down…figuratively at least," Josephine commented with a sigh as she glared from one advisor to the other. "However she is not responding to my prodding that she should retreat to her bedroom instead of sleeping out here in the cold."

"I’m sure some of the men could help you get her there. Why did you call for us?" Cullen asked as he crossed his arms out of habit.

"Well…I did request some soldiers take her to her room to sleep it off. She is apparently still very adept in combat though even in her impaired state. I thought that since you and her had a standing practice time in the mornings and she has know Leliana for years you both might be best to help her. Then between Leliana and myself we can get her into something more comfortable and tucked away."

Leliana could not help the laughter that popped out of her. ”Oh my, what did she do to the soldiers?”

"Muttered something about them not being good enough for her bed and broke one man’s wrist. The other one was lucky and escaped before she could do the same."

Cullen cringed, “Poor bugger. I’ll check on them once we’re done here.” As he spoke the former templar moved to kneel next to Josephine. He moved his sword and Cassandra’s to the side before he started working his arms under the sleeping Seeker.

"Oh but Cullen she’s in armor-" Josephine started to protest.

"I can carry her," Cullen stated in a factual tone. "I’ll need you to carry our blades though, Cassandra is likely to pitch a fit if it’s not there when she wakes up. She will be snarling enough from the hang over. Leliana if you can get us to her room quickly and with the least amount of people to see us I think she would appreciate that."

The spymaster was looking amused as Cullen hefted Cassandra up but simply nodded as she turned to lead the way. Josephine fretted for a moment but when it became obvious that Cullen was not going to drop his charge she scrambled back to collect the swords.

Cassandra made a disgruntled sound then, limbs tightening as her eyes blinked open. They were still blurred with drink and sleep but she was obviously taking stock of things. ”Who?”

"Shhh," Cullen said, instantly worried about what Cassandra might break on him from his position of carrying her bridal style. Leliana had paused and looked back in concern before he jerked his head to tell her to move along. "Everything is alright Lady Cassandra."

The black haired lady made a humming sound of agreement before settling her cheek on one furry shoulder. Cullen wasn’t sure she even registered what he said as her eyes had closed again and she seemed to settle in to go back to sleep.

"Being swept off to my room?" she asked when he had thought her sleeping again. "You’re even carrying me right. What a funny dream…"

Leliana had shot Cullen a look from her spot in front, looking like she was trying to keep from laughing while the Commander glared at her not to even breathe a word. Better that Cassandra think it all a dream she was having so she didn’t break his skull open in self defense.

She didn’t do anything of the sort thankfully…though her nuzzling into his throat was not exactly what he had been hoping for here!

He could feel a flush climbing through his face as Leliana finally opened a door to show a simple room that Cassandra had claimed as hers. A shelf of worn books, a practice dummy, and a few personal trinkets she prized identifying the room easily for the three advisors. Leliana moved to get the fireplace going and Josephine came in carrying the two heavy swords. The diplomat huffing as she all but dropped them and had to breath a minute.

Cullen had been trying to put Cassandra down on her bed when the swords crashed. The Seeker jerked reflexively her eyes popping open again but they were still unfocused.

"Shhhh," Cullen soothed as he pulled one arm free, leaving her legs settled on the mattress. His other arm was holding her up a bit and he was worried that removing it suddenly might cause her to hit the head board and injure herself. "Easy now, you are safe in your room and just going to see about sleeping off the rest of that whiskey."

Cassandra blinked owlishly and gave a disgusted noise. ”This dream is not being as good as it should be,” she slurred out.

Cullen had to chuckle at that. ”Well perhaps you will be able to fix that when you are-“

Josephine had said Cassandra was still adept at fighting when drunk but Cullen hadn’t expected how fast she was. One armored hand popped up and hooked onto his breastplate yanking him down with surprising force. Cullen’s words were swallowed up as Cassandra saw fit to make her “dream” better via planting her lips on his.

And damned if she didn’t leave him thinking his were going to be better than they usually were.

His tawny colored eyes stayed wide open in shock even as Cassandra closed her own and made a sound that he swore he felt in his bones, not to mention other parts. Thank the Maker for heavy armor or he never would have been able to move without embarrassing himself.

There was simply a long silence as Cassandra ravished Cullen’s mouth. Apparently she was satisfied eventually though because she pulled away with a damning smack and had a pleased smile on her face. ”Better,” she slurred before easing back onto the bed and for all intents and purposes seeming to have gone back to sleep.

Cullen sat on the edge of the bed blinking like Andraste herself had appeared before him in all her glory. He had thoughts but he was feeling distinctly out of his body right that moment and could not figure out if he was feeling mortified r shocked more.

He managed to turn and blink at the other two advisors. Josephine’s jaw was hanging open and her eyes wide in shock. Leliana’s eyes were dancing in vast amusement and her gloved hands were settled over her own mouth as if to help keep herself quiet.

Cullen had a thought, he was trying to say something about said thought which was only partly formed in his head. His jaw waggled up and down but there was no sound coming from it and he could only wave his hand at them with lowered brows.

"Not a soul," Josephine said immediately.

"We will never breathe a word of this," Leliana said as well.

Cullen nodded and sat there, trying vainly to collect himself before Josephine took pity on him. She walked over and took his arm, pulling him gently and insistently from the bed. The poor man was so shocked he couldn’t seem to get his feet under him as she directed him towards the door. 

"Thank you for helping us get her here Commander. Why don’t you go and rejoin the festivities. Perhaps Bull will give you some of that stuff he has in a flask on him. If not I am certain there is a bottle of Antivan brandy in my office with your name on it."

The former templar simply nodded dumbly, allowing Josephine to push him along out the door before she closed it. Her face splitting into giggles after it latched. Leliana’s did the same and they laughed themselves to tears for a few minutes.

"Oh, if they were not dear friends that would be one of the juicest pieces of gossip," Josephine sighed as she moved to pull off Cassandra’s boots. "Do you think she’ll remember what she did when she awakens?"

"I could not guess, I have not known Cassandra to get drunk in the first place," Leliana pointed out. 

"Do you think we should tell her if she does not remember?" Josephine asked in concern.

Leliana seemed to ponder that one before shaking her head. ”No, she would be horribly embarrassed. Cullen will be turning red around her for weeks as it is but we know he is to much of a gentleman to ever speak of it again. We would like to keep them on some kind of speaking terms I am certain.”

"You are right, as cute as it would have been to watch them stumble through things," Josephine said, her romantic heart sighing at the thought. "Ah well, let us get Cassandra settled and then I can go see about stealing some kisses myself."

"Are you going to tell the Inquisitor about this?" Leliana asked curiously?

"Oh I intend to. He will find this hilarious as well," Josephine said with a devious grin. "Besides, we will be off to visit my family soon so who would he tell about this?"

Leliana only nodded with a chuckle. ”As much as I hate to say it, I doubt anyone would believe us even if we told them.”

"Most likely not," Josephine said as she dropped the last armor piece with a sigh. "There, she sleeps like the dead now at least."

"To busy with pleasant dreams I would wager," the spymaster commented with another laugh.

"Indeed, and I’m sure our Commander will have just as pleasant ones for weeks to come," the diplomat stated with a chuckle of her own.


	2. I Did What!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fallout from celebrations have Cassandra interrogating Cullen for answers as to why she's getting funny looks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the prompt I got a request from a Nonny on tumblr for the fallout. Couldn't leave it sit when it was such a juicy prospect.

Something was wrong…

It was staring Cassandra in the face and driving her up a wall. Something was not right in Skyhold and she could feel it. She practically vibrated with it but she could not figure out what it was. Soldiers moved about their days, messengers dashed back and forth. Most of the companions had settled in for a good rest before figuring out what to do now that Corphyeus was defeated.

The feeling had started the morning after their victory, she remembered them arriving to a grand feast and she had eaten until she thought her armor would pop open. Iron Bull had brought some kind of drink that burned and insisted she drink with him. Then Blackwall had sat and insisted she have a few with him. She remembered Varric having one with her as they toasted to peace… Sera had turned up as well now that Cassandra was really thinking about it. Passing her a bottle and saying she deserved just a bit of the good stuff. At some point she had thought it unbearably stuffy and hot in the hall and had taken a walk.

She had woken up the next morning with her head feeling like a dragon was stomping on it.

At first she had thought it was nothing but the strangeness of having no crisis to attend. No more wars to fight and she was going to have to adjust to that. She had Seekers to track down, an order to rebuild…and no drive to really do it.

She was tired obviously. She had even slept in that first morning and missed her usual early morning sparring with Cullen. The next day he hadn’t shown up and had sent a note of apology claiming tiredness as well. That made sense certainly, everyone was tired and regrouping.

That did not explain the occasional funny looks she kept feeling. All from the senior members of the Inquisition as well.

Something was wrong, and no one was telling her about it.

She paced back and forth in her quarters as she thought about it. The Inquisitor, Josephine, Leliana, and Cullen all knew something. They were the only ones to give her funny looks. No one else was giving her any or acting particularly strange.

So what could she do about it but ask?

The problem was that they would have told her already if they believed she should know. None of them had and it had her setting her jaw and making a disgusted noise through her teeth. So who was the weakest link in matters? Leliana would never break that was for certain. Josephine would bury Cassandra in pleasantries and diplomatic side speak until the Seeker went cross eyed and fled. The Inquisitor would sit flirting and making jokes, as was his way of deflecting matters. He was a good match for Josephine in his ability to side track matters he did not wish to speak of.

No it would have to be Cullen. Besides the fact that out of the four he was the least able to lie, he was her best friend that would make him more cooperative surely. Besides, she wanted to know why he had been missing from their sparring for the last week. It might have been related.

She headed for Cullen’s office, for while war was freshly finished there was still troops moving around southern Thedas combing the wilderness for pockets of Corphyeus’s surviving forces. No one wanted some magister getting it in his head to replace their former master after all.

She opened the door to see him giving the death glare to a pair of troopers, one notably with his arm wrapped like he had suffered a broken wrist. When she entered both jumped and maybe it was their imagination but they looked terrified of her.

This did not help her feeling of something being wrong…

Cullen looked over at his visitor and there was a flick of something before that tempalr discipline came to his rescue and he fixed a glare on both of the troops before him. “That will be all,” he told them before crossing his arms. The two gave salutes with a respectful “Ser!” and headed off with respectful (and slightly fearful) comments of “Ma’am" towards her.

Cassandra did not wait for Cullen to say anything or greet her. She slammed the door behind the two troops and knowing how he always had people coming and going locked it so she would not be disturbed in her interro- questionin- asking! She was asking and she was not going to interrogate her friend here.

“Is there a problem Cassandra?” Cullen asked, as she turned back to him. He stood with his arms crossed in and…was it her imagination or was he looking…defensive?

“I was hoping that you could tell me,” she admitted though through her teeth it came out sounding accusatory and making her cringe a bit. Ugh, she was never any good with words.

Cassandra’s eyes only narrowed and the nagging feeling increased as Cullen rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. “Well uh- I-I think you m-might n-need to el-laborate on w-what you m-mean there.”

Son of a- Cullen knew exactly what Cassandra was talking about, it was all over his face! The gall! The nerve! 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about!” she demanded storming up on him and getting in his face even as Cullen started to back up only to catch himself and widen his stance to stay put. It was one of the things Cassandra always appreciated about Cullen, an unyielding attitude. “Something is wrong and it has something to do with me. I can see it when Leliana is giving me those bloody amused side looked and Josephine keeps shifting her feet like she needs to move to keep from saying something. Even the Inquisitor looks like he’s about to burst out laughing around me and I would know what is so damned funny!”

“They told the Inquisitor?” Cullen said in confusion, apparently as surprised by the news as Cassandra. “They promised not to tell anyone dammit! I don’t care if he and Josephine are-”

“Don’t change the subject Commander,” Cassandra snarled as she jabbed a finger against his breastplate. “What happened that that caused this?”

“What happened?” Cullen echoed through clenched teeth his brows low and looking as angry as Cassandra had ever seen him. “You mean you don’t remember?”

“Remember what!?” Cassandra demanded as she threw her hands up in frustration. “I can only assume I did something foolish when I had far to much to drink the other night during the celebrations. I do not however remember what happened beyond everyone needing to have a drink with me.”

Those tawny eyes blinked at her, then blinked again as Cullen’s brows rose and he looked as if he was expecting Cassandra to rescind her statement or remember things. She only crossed her arms and glared at him impatiently. “Well?” she demanded leaning forward and invading his space again in a subconscious effort to intimidate and challenge.

“I um…” Cullen said, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck again. “I must admit that your confession of not knowing serves to explain matters greatly. I thought that you remembered or that Josephine or Leliana would have informed you.”

“Well they have not,” Cassandra said getting more aggravated by the minute at Cullen not spitting it out. “And I am not asking them what I did so get on with it. Did I lose a drinking game? Insult a dignitary? Punch out the Inquisitor in the middle of his own hall?”

Cullen’s face slowly darkened to red as he shifted on his feet and cleared his throat. “Are you c-certain-”

“Cullen just tell me!” Cassandra yelled at him from inches away.

The blond man went silent for a minute and then he said, in a very quiet tone, “You kissed me.”

He might as well have said Cassandra started breathing fire and sprouted wings. She would have been no less shocked by matters. “I what?”

“You. Kissed. Me.” Cullen stated emphasizing his words as he crossed his arms again and waited for Cassandra to absorb what he was telling her. He was still a deep shade of scarlet and shifting his weight from foot to foot. “On the lips and with your tongue.”

“I-I-I’m so sorry,” Cassandra said as she felt heat rising to her own cheeks and she retreated now. She couldn’t help but hang her head in shame. “Oh Cullen I am so sorry. The position I must have put you in-”

Cassandra’s hands rose to her head as if she might knock sense into it. Stupid of her, how could she be so foolish as to let herself go that far? “Did- Where were we?” she asked, already mortified at thinking what she might have done in front of everyone in Skyhold.

“We were in your quarters,” Cullen said in a factual tone. “Josephine found you passed out near your usual haunting spot with the practice dummies and requested aid from Leliana and myself to get you to your room to sleep it off.”

“Leliana and Josephine? So they…”

“Saw everything yes.”

Cassandra made a disgusted noise, her hands coming up to shield her face in a vain attempt to block out some of the embarrassment. “At least I only made a fool of myself in front of you three then. Is this why you have not been at our usual morning sparring sessions?”

Cullen could only give a nod. “I’m afraid so, I was…not sure how to act with you after that I have to admit.”

“I can imagine,” Cassandra said, her face flaming even as she sighed and wanted to find the nearest rock to hide under. Maker preserve her but she had well and truly humiliated herself. She kept staring at her feet, to embarrassed to even look Cullen in the eye. “I apologize again Commander. I was…obviously not myself. We should-I mean we can… Let us just forget this even happened.”

With a deep breath and a reminder that Cullen was still her best friend, even if she had been an idiot in front of him, Cassandra made herself straighten up and face forward. She fixed her eyes on a point over Cullen’s shoulder instead of at him, scared of the condemnation she might see in his face. “Yes that is the best option. We should simply forget the mess ever happened. I hope this does not injure our friendship. It is important to me and…um…”

For once in her life Cassandra wanted nothing more than to run away from something. She never ran, and it was lowering to admit to herself that she wanted to. It was appalling to her that she might have broken their friendship beyond repair simply by being inebriated and having her head far too full of romance stories.

She dropped her head again, afraid she would end up doing the ultimate sin in her book and start crying. What could she say or do to make up for this? How did you make amends for that kind of behavior? “I-I’m so-” she started to say, trying to think of words beyond yet another bloody apology.

A pair of leather gloved hands suddenly clapped onto her cheeks, pulling Cassandra’s face up to look at Cullen. Except she did not get much of a chance to look before he had his mouth on hers. She didn’t know she was a mirror for how he had been when she had pulled close to the same tactic. Her eyes wide in shock for a moment and she felt like she should put a stop to things but…then again she had kind of started it and…well…

It was like something out of the books she always read.

It was a siege and Cassandra was shocked by it to her bones. She had known Cullen to be a warm individual in his friendships but there was a heat here she never knew he possessed. It left her feeling both vulnerable, and powerful because she somehow trusted that she could be both and that was alright.

So for once, Cassandra followed instead of lead, letting Cullen pull her deeper into this strange place where having his arm banded around her waist and one leather covered glove on the back of her head so his tongue could explore her mouth, felt like the most natural thing in the world.

He pulled away slowly, brandy colored eyes glinting under heavy lids as they parted by just an inch. “Cassandra,” he said, her name coming out in a rumble. “I do not want to forget it ever happened.”

The black haired woman could only blink for a moment and nod as the hands she had planted on his shoulders crept upward into his hair and pulled him back down with a sound of disgruntled impatience that had Cullen chuckling even as he shifted to set her back on her feet. Cassandra was sure her mind was floating up on a cloud somewhere because she certainly did not feel connected to the rest of her body right that moment.

“I have had the better part of a week to think about matters,” Cullen pointed out as he steered Cassandra towards the door and purposely unlocked it. “I will admit that it was originally a shock I was…flattered in the end. You see there was one little thing about your state that had been bothering me. You recognized the original guardsmen that were trying to help enough to resist. With me however you did not.”

Cassandra could feel her face turning red again as Cullen seemed to study her intently. His own color was high but there was a devious little smirk on his face that brought fresh shock to her. She had never known the Commander could be so…bold. 

“It made me wonder eventually if that was the first time I got the lead part in one of your dreams,” he asked with a low tone that did things to parts of her it should not have.

How had she missed this side of him in all the time they had been friends and colleagues? 

“I simply had to know,” he continued as if his ponderings were not melting her into a puddle. “What are you going to do if I turned the tables and kissed you. I must say it has been illuminating for me and hopeful educational for you.”

Educational he said, Cassandra was starting to wonder if she was still on Thedas or had been teleported into the Fade somehow with a Desire demon.

Cullen pulled the door open before eying Cassandra. His hands were restless so he reached down to take her own and bring them up between them. There was nerves there in his eyes about things but a resolute steel to him as well.

“If you would rather we remained friends, I will understand completely and adhere to your wishes Lady Cassandra,” he told her with a small almost shy smile that she was far more use to. “But I would be lying if I said I did not wish to explore this…other part to see what we could make of it. You are an amazing woman that any man would be a fool to pass up time with even if it was just for a short period of it.”

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship Cullen,” she managed to say, concern creasing her brow.

“And you never will,” he stated before bringing one of her hands up to kiss a knuckle through the heavy leather. “But do…think about it and let me know?”

“I…will consider it.”


End file.
